Uninvited

You make me so sick and tired

Tired of trying to figure out

what I have to do

or say

or be

to get you to see me

to get you to choose me

to get you to want me

like I’ve wanted you

for as long as I can remember

 

Yes, I’ve wanted you

I’ve longed for you

I’ve waited for you

I’ve been on the lookout for you

like the Father for the Prodigal Son

 

But you never came

You won’t come

You’re not coming

So now watch closely as I

vomit you up

spit you out

and flush you down the toilet

to be lost forever in the Big Apple’s

Bermuda Triangular sewer system

right where you belong

 

Listen carefully as I lift my voice with Alanis:

“You’re uninvited.”

 

You think me undesirable

Unworthy

You make me feel invisible

Untouchable

Just plain ugly

Like I reside on my own private leper colony

 

Damn you

Mil veces maldito

 

But I can’t help wanting you

It’s how I’m wired

It’s how I’m cursed

I will want you as long as I breathe

but I don’t need you

I only think that you’re essential for my happiness

but that’s a lie from the Father of Lies

 

You are neither oxygen

nor water

nor the living God

You can’t make me whole

You won’t satisfy

And I am through waiting for you with baited breath

 

Did you hear that?

I just exhaled

I am so done with you and your kind.

 

Hasta nunca